if the Buddha dated

After a several month hiatus from blogging – mainly from work, relationship changes, and the prospect of locating a future career outside of Cincinnati- I wanted to include a listing of several, more meaningful, passages that I found in a book entitled if the Buddha dated – a Handbook for Finding Love on a Spiritual Path. By Charlotte Kasl, Ph.D.

This book was lent to me by a wonderful woman, while we were struggling with the unraveling of our romantic relationship. I think, and hope, that Rachel lent me this book as a way to gain insight into her heart and mind, which I later learned were in conflict with one in other over whether to continue our romantic endeavor or to change our path of life. We are not on different paths.

This is by no means a complete synopsis of the 49 (2-4 page) chapters, but rather a collection of interesting and meaningful passages that I took away.

“Too often, we try to mold people into what we want them to be rather then honoring them as they are.”

“The spiritual lover doesn’t want a chase or a competition – he or she wants a lover who wants them back. They want to create a shared union and feel the sweetness of connection.” (emphasis added).

“When you say good-bye to someone or decide not to see them again, remember you are a moment in their story. Make it a story that doesn’t leave a scar.”

“… Love relationships thrive when both partners support, trust, and yield to the other partner’s path. Adaptability, devotion and unconditional support given in equal measure to each other bring the essence of equality.”

“Unresolved losses and conflict live in us as a form of energy.”

“When we crawl in love we are more likely to find the true fire of hearts meeting because our bond is based on a wide array of experiences, time together, familiarity, and the ability to talk over conflict.”

“I am filled by the light of a thousand angels
Softening my way, softening my way

I am filled by the light of a thousand angles,
softening my way to you.

I am washed by the tears of a thousand angels

Softening my way, softening my way

I am washed by the tears of a thousand rainbows,

Softening my way to you.

- A Dance of Universal Peace”

“Our task is to fearlessly, and with great compassion, listen to what our body, mind, and heart are saying and remember that obsessive thinking keeps us locked in fear. If you’re caught in fear, call forth your adult self to remind you that you managed your life before you met this person, and you are not dependent on him or her. You can get out of bed, dress yourself, feed yourself, go to work, and take yourself to the movies. It’s an illusion to believe that you need him or her so desperately, an echo from childhood.”

“In the journey toward finding your beloved, there may be several endings and new beginnings. They are part of the same circle. The grace we bring to leaving a relationship will help us gently untie the cord and let go. Forgiving ourselves and our former partners frees us to love more wisely the next time.” (emphasis added).

Thanks for reading,

Alex